A case history by Christine Relf

“I have been privileged to be a patient at St Wilfrid’s for four years following life-saving procedures for my serious and complex heart problems at The Royal Brompton Hospital in London. My numerous procedures made life almost impossible but for the skill and expertise of St Wilfrid’s Hospice.

Counselling means different things to different people. Why – because, no two people are the same as we are individuals. What is helpful and appropriate to one person may not necessarily apply to another.

I have been fortunate to experience so many aspects of counselling, which is an invaluable and vital service, that I would like to share these with you.

Counsellors, like the patients they see, are not all the same. Some adopt a passive and soft approach, whereas others are more direct with their line of questioning, but their objective is the same, to make you feel better in mind, body and soul. To enable whoever is assigned to guide you through this process you must be open, honest and be prepared to talk about things that are very painful.

Remember, the counsellor is there to help and support you so always give as much information as possible. Their understanding, training and skill set will allow them to slowly but surely untangle the many threads of the problems you present.

Most patients seek counselling because they cannot unravel the cause of their concerns, of even distress, without such expertise and experience provided by the counselling team.

For many patients just to sit in the peaceful serenity of one of the St Wilfrid’s counselling rooms and to unburden their souls in the knowledge of absolute confidentiality is all that it takes to achieve a positive outcome. I have benefited from many sessions in this calm environment, and it is so important that patients relate to their counsellor as often the challenges are so immense we cannot cope on our own and sessions become a partnership.

However, the nature of my complexities – I nearly died twice whilst in hospital and had a great fear of dying – left deep scars that required further very specialised counselling that can also stimulate sensations within the mind to induce peace and tranquillity.

Early intervention is paramount for the longer an illness, condition or troublesome thoughts are left untreated then the harder it becomes for the patient as the emotional and psychological anxieties only exasperate the underlying reason for why you are under the care of a counsellor.

Their intuition is not to be underestimated, so be receptive and have an open mind. Let me give you an example, Emotional Freedom Technique, otherwise known as Tapping. It is all too easy to be sceptical, but after receiving this therapy, and then being taught how to treat myself was therapeutic.

It is perfectly normal to feel vulnerable when desperately unwell and the overwhelming desire is to be safe. St Wilfrid’s offers this support, but please understand the entire Hospice Movement is only partially funded by the NHS and relies heavily on donations to maintain their highly specialised services.

Hospices provide so much more than just a peaceful place for lives to end but to prolong and improve the quality of life for the many patients long before their time comes, as I know only too well.”

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